finding happiness.

you lie still, heavy with the burden of your misery. your thoughts fill with fear of what is yet to come, if you’ll ever find clarity. the venom of the silence that you hear so clearly, leaves a continuation of uncertainty. the anguish, manically dances around your head. you’re desperately trying to let it pass, to let it rest, for you’re terrified of falling again. you dream of finding happiness but your heart begins to sing songs of your sadness, it continuously recites its verses of woe and hums melodies of your distress. how do you progress from the eternal conflict that’s buried so deep within? you feel the rush of cold water begin to rise, placing your hands together, you recite “oh Lord, please give me the strength i need to stay alive.” you feel it building up inside your chest, you begin to hold your breath, you need this trauma to end but now you’re drowning. the tides of sorrow have found the waves of pain and they’re engulfing you again. the pain is now seeping into your soul, you try to gain control, to let it go but it’s breaking you away whole. you accept that you’re at the end of the line, with closed eyes and clenched fists, you fall to your demise. the air fills with the grieving sounds of your cries. you’re now floating through an oblivion, passing clouds of emptiness that clutch onto the blues and greys of torment and treacherousness. this is where your dreams come to die of loneliness. maybe you were never destined to find happiness. 

         ~maysablogs