a letter.
hey,
how have you been?
i heard you graduated recently, you’ve grown up so beautifully. sorry. maybe i should have called. i haven’t been checking in like i used to, just haven’t found the time to. it’s been years since we’ve spoken last, you see, i’ve spent a while trying to bury the past, but no matter how hard i try, the happiness doesn’t seem to last. wow, look at me, always dredging up old memories. i never really knew what to say, just hoped time would fix things and everything would fall into place. never really asked how things were inside, always seemed to throw it away or run and hide. i have tried many times just to see what it would be like, to finally care, to finally breathe and let it be. yet, every time i take off the lid to the pen, i find myself putting it away again. sorry, let’s talk about all the good things that have happened to you, how are you? i have always thought about you, it’s true. maybe i’m a coward for not opening up more, just things aren’t the same as they were before. but let’s not dwell on that now, we have made it to this moment somehow. do you still keep a journal? i remember how protective you were over what you’d write, maybe we can talk about that more some other time. funny how things have changed, they’ve changed for the better though, just happy we made it to today and hopefully we’ll get to tomorrow. i’ve always wanted you to be happy, i’m so glad you’ve found your way in the end, but please, if things get hard don’t stay silent, don’t pretend. that’s ironic coming from me, i know, but i’m trying harder to let my feelings show. anyway, let’s talk about what the future holds. 21, who would have thought? endlessly prayed we’d reach this age, with so much knowledge, so much grace. guess that’s sort of true. i’m so grateful to have you, i promise to check in more, to look after you. please know, i’m not going to leave you in the dark again, this is a new start for us, a new beginning. listen, i’ve got to go now. maybe you’ll read this soon and understand i didn’t mean to neglect you. i’ll continue to pray you’re happy, that everything that hurt you before doesn’t find its way to your heart anymore, that you find that peace you were always searching for. remember don’t let their words sadden you, you’re stronger than whatever is breaking you. you see, over time i’ve learnt self-love is so vital for growth, never really did care for myself before, but that’s going to change now, i know that for sure. anyway, if you do come back to this letter one day, don’t keep it hidden away, learn to keep it close, it’ll remind you of what you’ve got left to show. you have got so many wonderful experiences ahead of you, come on, we have to embrace the crazy, deal with the scary and finally take care of you.
love from,
me.
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