8 steps to deal with loss:

1. acceptance 

accepting loss is one of the hardest steps you will take. my dear, you must understand that loss is a part of life. you must accept that this world is our temporary abode and the next world will be our eternal home. the concept of acceptance will also apply to the loss of a friendship or relationship. not every friend will stay, not every person you meet and share intimate moments with will be in your life forever. remember that life is just one big test. people are temporary too, one day that best friend you hold so close to your heart can up and leave. that’s okay. it’s okay to be angry, to feel betrayed but my dear, understand you don’t need them, they were never destined for you. you see, life is filled with temporary people but they teach us such valuable lessons. they are specifically placed in our path to make us stronger in faith, to help us appreciate the grater things in life and to understand the beauty of the world around us. 

2. cry/grieve

once you’ve come to accept your loss, you’ll mourn. it’s perfectly fine to cry, it’s normal to grieve the loss of a loved one. darling, cry until there are no tears left. just please never suppress these feelings. we are all human, we cry, we grieve, it’s all part of the healing process. this will be the most painful step, it’ll feel like there’s no coming back but understand that in order to heal you must first let it hurt, only then will the grief slowly depart. sometimes grief will arrive in small waves, other times it may feel like a tsunami of sadness, engulfing every single part of you. darling, remember that grief is subjective, it’s a personal journey one must take so please don’t think you’re doing it wrong or your emotions are invalid. it’s okay to feel but remember to never let these feelings consume you. you see, the anguish, the fear and the sorrow embedded inside you will eventually depart.

3. forgiveness 

forgive yourself. we often find that we blame ourselves after the loss of a loved one. i guess it’s a way in which we come into terms with loss and sometimes we cannot escape that. however, one thing you can do and it’s something that we often forget to do, is to forgive yourself. remember that you are not in control of who stays and who leaves. so, by all means, take some time out, keep distance between yourself and others for a while, spend time alone but please try to take pleasure in spending time with yourself. it may seem so farfetched but forgiving yourself and nurturing yourself after you’ve grieved is so important for your mental and physical health and overall wellbeing. fill your heart with self love.

4. memories 

remember to cherish the memories, the moments you’ve shared and the moments you’ve lived through. you must believe in them and their beauty and how it’s something you’ll never lose. let them serve as constant reminders of those precious conversations you once shared and the beautiful days you've spent together. joyous memories are wonderful gifts, please hold onto them for as long as you can.

5. optimism/patience

to remain positive after losing someone can be strenuous but my dear, it’s not impossible to achieve. remember that everything happens with good reason and know that better things await. have hope, have patience, remain optimistic. things may seem uneasy but understand you have your life to live, you have so much to look forward to. life is so short so please take it with both hands and embrace it. learn a new hobby, immerse yourself in your studies, set new goals, maybe even binge-watch your favourite tv series, whatever you decide to do, try to remain positive and remember great things will arrive with time. 

6. pray

this is one of the most hardest steps yet the most beneficial. pray for them, that their journey is one of ease. darling, pray for peace, for patience and for mercy. put your hands together and speak to God. confide in Him for He hears every word and sees every single tear. it may be exhausting, some days you may feel low in your faith but that’s okay. take it one day at a time. just know when i tell you that praying will provide your heart some comfort, it’ll help your mind gain some clarity. darling remember to keep your trust in God, He has a better plan for you, you’ll get through this.

7. letting go

letting go doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting completely. if it doesn’t bring you peace then you must let it go. this can include materialistic possessions, unsettling memories, unrealistic ideas, anything that isn’t going to benefit you. as mentioned above, it’s important to reminisce, to cherish, but remember learning to let go is just as important. darling, you must let it hurt, let it teach you a lesson, then let it go. holding on will only result in continual destruction.

8. heal

i’d like end on something that i want you to take with you wherever you go, even if it’s the only advice you take from this: remember to learn to accept what is, let go of what was and my dear, have faith in what is yet to come. i hope my words have helped you and i pray that your heart finds closure. take these steps how you will and remember once you have mastered each one, you’ll slowly begin to heal. but you must remember healing is not something that’ll happen overnight, it’ll take time. you’ll have moments of heartache and moments of relief but remember to persevere and remain strong, you’ll get there eventually.

                                                                      ~maysablogs